Thank heaven for Sacha Baron Cohen. If he'd not made some noise in the last days before the event I doubt I would have remembered there are the Oscars tonight. It shows how clueless the Academy of Motion Pictures can be when they announced he would not be welcomed in his persona for "The Dictator." Out of their effing minds. Producer Brian Grazer knew it and reversed the edict. Cohen, who will now be welcomed to walk as he wishes, is the show's last best hope for pulling some competitive ratings and some audience members under age 40 (though it's easy to beat last year's desultory and embarassing show). And that's just the red carpet. Goodness, when Cohen started getting traction I would have booted the usually unfunny Billy Crystal and replaced him with the "Borat" creator - in or out of character or characters. Any way he wanted to do it.
If not Cohen, I would have handed the hosting to Howard Stern, who remains relevant and contemporary regardless of his age and wealth.
Since the new century began The Oscars have been showing their age, certainly in terms of showmanship. They shouldn't feel superior to the awards shows that come earlier in the season, because the earlier productions, whatever their merit, at least swallowed some vitamins. Oscar should look to the Grammy awards. The music industry figured it out. Minimize the awards, maximize the performances. Over the last decade, the Oscars have gone in the other direction, to more blather, especially now that the "best song" category is anorexic. The broadcast shares a lot with the GOP debates, with some schtick at the top. From the presenters point of view, I loved the quote from Connie Wald today in The New York Times: "It’s really a very thankless show to do, congratulating people and opening envelopes.”
Like Mitt Romney, with the disconcerting challenge from upstart Rick Santorum, the Academy of Motion Pictures still haven't figured out the sea change that occurred when the Golden Globes and SAG Awards, etc., began to steal their thunder. They figured they were entitled always to be the biggest deal of Hollywood awards season. Things change. The field is so crowded most people don't make a distinction, certainly not younger people. They read reviews on Rotten Tomatoes, watch films on Netflix, Hulu, iTunes and youtube, rank them on IMDB, and go to movie theaters at midnight for "event" opening nights, which are chosen based on each other and marketing, not what critics think. An Oscar isn't going to make a 20-year-old go to a movie. Old folks don't go, anyway. They watch ABC, CBS, NBC and Fox, unless they have basic cable, in which case they get hooked on one-note MSNBC or colorless CNN.
But, as mentioned, at least we'll have the red carpet, where live coverage begins three to four hours before the Oscar broadcast, making the arrivals extravaganza as long or longer than the awards ceremony! The carpet has lost some spontaneity, too, as stylists and jewelers rule and promote. But I'd rather have Rachel Zoe and Brad Goresky do the red carpet commentary - not Ryan Seacrest, et al - for the possibility they might provide some cat fights over who got which designer dress for whatever client.
Rachel: "Brad, how did you get that Versace? I had it exclusively!"
Brad: "Rachel, you know me, I have my ways."
Rachel: "Rot in hell, bitch."
Brad: "You wish. I'd rather be your worst nightmare, bitch."
Anyway, that's my fantasy.
Last but not least, here's who I'd like to see win Oscars tonight.
Best Picture: Moneyball
Best Actress: Viola Davis
Best Actor: Brad Pitt
Best Supporting Actress: Octavia Spencer
Best Supporting Actor: Jonah Hill
Best Adapted Screenplay: Steve Saillian and Aaron Sorkin (Moneyball)
Best Original Screenplay: Woody Allen (Midnight in Paris)
As for "The Artist," I have to quote Tony Kornheiser, who called it "the best black and white silent film of 2012."
It's time for a new "Midnight Cowboy," and I don't mean a remake. I mean a film that is so stunningly about our times and who we are that it upends the entire industry, which is what "Midnight Cowboy" did in 1969. It won Best Picture and changed everything, making the 70s an innovative and exciting era of movie-making. "The Artist" may be endearing, but it won't spawn a creative revolution.
btw, washingtonian.com has the scoop on Oscar parties and public events in DC.
Also, I will live blog the show.